After two divorces by age 32, I thought I just wasn't cut out for marriage. But with my coach training, deep inner healing, and a small shift in perspective, I now have the marriage I once dreamed about. It sure didn't start out that way though. It started as bumpy as all the other relationships I had been in. Today, I will share how I consciously created my ideal marriage.

I’ve been a student of neuroscience and quantum physics for years now. What was once considered woo-woo is now proven science. We create our own realities. Our ego wants us to say it’s BS because it doesn’t want us to {Boss Up} and take risks. The ego is primal. Its job is our emotional and physical safety.

It's the part of our brain that keeps us safe, small, and separate, then tells us we are special (better than others) when the first batch of S words don’t work.

When I moved in with my now husband over a decade ago, all of my old ego triggers and emotional patterns returned. I had two failed marriages under my belt. so I had a lot of experience in self-protecting. I had done a lot of mindset work (I was just beginning to do a little life coaching at the time), but my body had memorized who I was and how I reacted to not getting my way in a committed relationship. I would get so upset with myself when I reacted. It was like someone else stepped into my body at times (my old self) and took over. The worst part? My daughters were watching. Our kid's subconscious brains are absorbing our actions for future modeling. Someday, when they are in a relationship, they will instinctively do what they saw growing up. I knew I needed to reverse things and fast.

I could see the old program running, but didn’t know how to upgrade it. I hated it, but didn’t know how to stop it. Mindset work was not working. How ironic.

What I hated, even more, was how quickly he got over things. I would get so upset with him when we would argue or disagree, and then act like nothing happened a day, or an hour, later. I told him something was deeply wrong with him.

If I would have known about what we call "Mirror Theory"  in The Expansion Method ^TM then, I would have known that when I point the finger at someone else, there are three pointing back at me. I could have looked for what was deeply wrong with me instead and prevented so much suffering.

What I didn’t understand was that he had figured out how to self-regulate love and joy, which was why he seemed so sparkly and light to me in the first place. He didn’t need another person to cause it for him, and nothing was worth blocking his ability to tap into it. Not even the women he said he loved.

His love for his own inner state of joy came first. It was a harsh, cruel lesson for me. And one I cherish to this day.

He gave me permission to put myself first, in a committed relationship, for the very first time. He modeled it for me. He taught me how to fill my own cup.

My cup was full when I met him because I was alone. I had learned how to fall in love with myself, and enjoy my own company, so we were a vibrational match when we met. But our bodies store the emotions of the past and use them as a defense mechanism so we don’t get hurt again. My body was draining me to protect myself and I blamed it on him.

It took time, but I finally figured out that a closed heart was at the center of it all. I went to my personal coach, my sister Lisa (the co-creator of The Expansion Method), and asked her to help me. Together, we figured out a model, and an acronym (ADOR'EM) to help us catch ourselves beginning to close our hearts, then work the steps to reopen and reprogram those old patterns DEEP INSIDE OUR BODIES.

You cannot think your way to this type of repatterning, so we created a somatic coaching modality to use with our private clients, and because the success was so insane, we began teaching it to coaches. 

I want this for all women. I want to show you the power of your own heart when it comes to manifesting. The coolest part of all, is that your partner does not need to learn this with you. You can learn it, and change things for BOTH of you.

For the men reading this: If you found me, you are probably more emotionally intelligent than your husband or wife. You are probably the more sensitive one. You are going to have to go first as my husband did.

When you learn how to open your heart fully and keep it open during life's challenges, it's like riding first class; you still feel some bumps, but enjoy the ride so much more.

I want to teach you how to have the love, joy, sex, and euphoria we have.

Get started HERE

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jamie Dooley is an award-winning international Master Coach, Heart Activator, Spiritual Teacher, and Program Developer. She is the founder of Expansion Group for Women and the National Network of Healthcare Hygienists, and is the author of Self-Coaching Mastery: Win the War Within. Jamie has been a trusted private coach and guide for the past decade and now enjoys teaching the powerful modality she created with her sister Lisa inside their Quantum Expansion Academy & SisterCoach Collective. She reminds us that if we are brave enough to be still and drop into our hearts, all of our answers are there, and as we heal ourselves there is no greater joy in life than sharing what we learn with others. Connect with her at [email protected]